By Ntokozo Nkambule
Black Tax is undoubtedly a controversial and sensitive topic for several people. Generally, most people want to financially assist family members, especially their parents, and siblings.
But how does one draw the line between assisting close family members, while also not being taken advantage of, not being financially worse off, and maintaining a healthy relationship with those they love?
To answer this question, The Leadership Growth Forum (LGF) will be hosting the Author of ‘Handle Black Tax Like A Pro’ Ndumi Hadebe in an attempt to assist emaSwati navigate this contentious topic.
The Leadership Growth Forum (LGF) is a not-for-profit forum that offers exposure to global thought leadership, and a wide range of key leadership resources to empower aspiring leaders to advance their careers and live up to their full potential.
The LGF’s principal determination is to contribute towards the development of a leadership pipeline that will be ready to make a difference in the country.
The author has stated on several media platforms that ‘Handle Black Tax Like A Pro’ is less about money and more about setting healthy boundaries.
She says the book is aimed at emphasizing the need to take on the responsibility of black tax in such a way that is not destructive, but instead empowers people and their children.
‘Handle Black Tax Like A Pro’ is a compilation of short stories – each one with a reflection from the author on how the characters could have handled the situation in line with the practice of boundaries.
The book asserts that the failure to address ‘black tax’ leads to a number of people asking themselves if they are only loved by their parents and siblings because they provide for them. This, she says leads to self-destruction and in certain instances depression.
The book summarizes the 5 Struggles of Black Tax
- Not Knowing About Boundaries – (Solution: Learn the A to Z of boundaries.)
- The Elephant in the Room – (Solution: Three steps to finding courage and freedom to confront difficult conversations.)
- Pressure to Do and Be Good – (Solution: Focus on being authentic and truthful instead of being ‘nice’.)
- Expressing a Guilt-and Shame-Free NO – (Solution: Learn how to say NO with confidence.)
- The More I Do the More I’m Expected to Do – (Solution: Reflect on where the need for wanting to be a hero comes from)
The book ends with a chapter that dives deep into Boundaries with the Self – which is the ultimate level of accountability where each person has to recognize that even though we get pressure from family and friends, at the end of the day it is us that ‘agree’ to give of our time-money-or-energy.
For it to end/stop we are the ones who must set the intention to end the cycle and then follow through with actions in line with this intention – by practicing healthy boundaries.
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